So, I have had a while to ponder on my next topic. Nothing was striking me as blog worthy until this morning. I don't know what exactly it was that triggered this feeling, but I felt as though I needed to educate the world on What is Appropriate and What is Not. It is only my opinion of course, but I think you will find it both informative and entertaining.
The definition of the word appropriate, according to Webster's Dictionary, is suitable or fitting. I find that to be an "appropriate" definition. You see, it is not a difficult word to use. It is, however, difficult for some people to be "appropriate". The verb form is much more difficult for some. I understand that one can learn this from their family, their friends, their job, their experiences, etc. I know in my time I have learned it from all of these. It's like responsibility. You have to make mistakes to learn. And I have made some inappropriate choices in the past, and now, I've learned. I'm hoping to some day pass on my knowledge to my children. I think that is one of the greatest thing we can do for our kids, teach them what we know. Some things they are going to have to be stubborn about and learn on their own, just like we did. But...try to give them as much info as you can about life, when "appropriate".
So let's start with attire. How you dress can be a make or break in some situations. And I'm not referring to the price or brand of your clothing. I'm a cheapo. I buy clothes second hand and make them look nicer than they are. I'm referring to the "appropriateness" of your attire. If you go to a job interview with a tank top and cut off shorts, you probably aren't getting that job. Even if you are interviewing for a waitressing job at the local Hooter's, it is a job interview. You should dress in dress pants, slacks, skirt (of appropriate length), or a dress. I once showed up to a job interview in business attire and was told that I was overdressed. The interviewer then explained that the customers were a bunch of "Good-Ole Boys" and they would feel uncomfortable if I were dressed so professionally all the time. I explained that I wanted to show her that I was professional and I told her that I was willing to dress down for the everyday work situation. In the end, I was offered the job but turned it down. I felt uncomfortable that I was going to be dealing with people who could not appreciate a professional appearance. But my point is...be overdressed not under dressed.
As I branch out from this same topic I am reminded of wedding attire. I have an example of inappropriate attire at a wedding but I'm afraid it will be quite obvious who I am referring to, therefore I will simply say that you should always be aware of the wedding "dress code" and try to stay within those boundaries. I am constantly calling my friends before events and asking what they are wearing. It is not because I want to try to out-dress them, or wear the same outfit as them. It is because we women want to be on the same page about what attire is appropriate. We want to make sure that we are going to blend in. No one wants to stick out like a sore thumb, except Lady Gaga, and I just don't quite have her figured out yet. So, if attending a wedding please think about the time of day, the venue, and the style of wedding. There are even websites that describe in detail what is acceptable. Check them out. They are pretty interesting just to read. They also debunk the whole no wearing black to a wedding. In today's time, a black dress can be looked at as very classy and elegant. I know some people who live by the more traditional thinking wouldn't dare, but it is not frowned upon. Many people think of black as dark, depressing, and even representing death but I think of it as a neutral. So if wearing a black dress to wedding, spruce it up with some colorful accessories: wear a string of pearls, gold or nude heals, a colorful scarf or pashmina. Now, a wedding is the one event not to be overdressed. You never want to outdo the bride. It is her day and you are merely a bystander. You should blend in, and not appear to be a member of the wedding party. If possible, find out what the bridesmaids dresses look like so you are not too closely dressed to them either. I know, I know. Too many rules. But you would be surprised at how many people don't know them.
On to the next...I do not enjoy staring at my bulging stomach in the mirror. It is this reason that I fight the urge to wear a midriff top, daily. Maybe not this reason alone but you get my drift. I have, over the years, put on quite a bit of weight. I am not in denial. I am not delusional. I am aware of it every time I dress and undress. I am too in love with fatty food. It is a weakness. But that is for another day, another blog. I am aware of my body shape and that is undesirable for most people to look at. That is why I work very hard to cover my abundance of skin and flab. I wish that others would understand that is never appropriate to dress as though no one else can see you. I see you, allllll of you with your too-tight tank top, too-short shorts, sleeveless, strapless, not leaving anything to the imagination. And if you cared, you would know that I wouldn't want to imagine seeing you either. So thank you for letting it all hang out there, now I want to vomit. I see people all the time who are scared to look at the size clothes they have on. Do not be afraid. It will not kill you to shop in the plus section or at Lane Bryant. I do, and you would be surprised at how cute some of the clothes are. One rule I have personally implicated is that no one over the age of 25 should shop in the juniors section. These clothes are made for girls with no curves. Women i.e. girls over the age of 25 have curves. These clothes are only flattering on girls who are under 25 and weigh less than 135 pounds. Seriously! If you have on clothes that fit, no matter what size they are, you will look like you have lost weight. Really. No one wants a muffin top hanging out over low rise too tight jeans, or any article of clothing that is so small that it pushes your skin and organs up and out.
Now, on to the next level of appropriateness, your words. It is never appropriate to say ANYTHING about a woman's weight. Pregnant or not. Post baby or not. The only exception to this is when you are paying compliments of how amazing a lady looks. Compliments of weight loss, real or fake, are always appreciated. You should never boast about your income, your belongings, your home, your love life, or really anything else unless it is solicited. The only time this is acceptable is within your close circle of friends. And even then it's not always acceptable. In all honesty, if you are in the company of your close circle of friends, they shouldn't care what you have/don't have anyway. If they do, you may need to start looking for some new friends.
Attitude. Ugh! Attitude can be good, but when I say it to myself I only hear Att-i-tude. And it is not so good. I see this often in my professional life. People have inappropriate attitudes toward hairdressers. And I never quite understood it. This person is about to cut your hair, with scissors, and you are going to make them mad before they even begin? Hmmmm....You might want to rethink that. But why? Why should you have an attitude toward your hairdresser? You chose to get your hair cut by that person. If you don't like them, go elsewhere. The biggest problem I had with this was when I was employed by that corporation in the past. People chose to walk in those doors, not knowing who was going to cut their hair, and then would have the audacity to have an att-i-tude. Now, let me explain that I am not referring to ALL of the customers. I understand that some people would request stylists, would be referred by others, or would stop in at a first attempt to find a new stylist. I am talking about those fools are were repeat offenders. Those jokes that would come in acting like they were too good to be there. We had one that I referred to as the Marlboro Man. He sported a Super Mullet and walked like he owned the place. But he looked like Chuck Norris and a leprechaun had a fat baby with a Super Mullet. Ugh! Really? You are a truck driver from East Tennessee, not Sean Connery. Please! And of course this leads to my horror story of a customer that attacked me just weeks before my run at the corp. ended. I still remember his name: J.P.I. I will keep him anonymous only because I don't want you guys starting riots and wanting to burn him at the stake. I know you would because if anyone treated you the way he treated me, I would want to do the same to your attacker. But here goes: this jerk waltzes in to the corp. shop at 4:58 pm on a Sunday afternoon. The shop closed at 5. Having worked in retail and restaurants, I have a general rule of not going into a business fifteen minutes or more before closing, out of respect for their employees. Yes, the doors don't lock until 5 but if your haircut is going to take longer than 10 minutes, don't go in. They still have other duties to be done before they get to leave. They are, after all, missing time with their families on a Sunday just so you can get your hair did. Well, this guy opens the door and announces that he KNOWS we don't close until 5 and it wasn't 5 yet. So he was GOING to get his hair cut. He precedes to walk onto the platform and ask WHO was going to cut his hair. I was the manager and I had another manager helping at my store that day. She is a dear, dear friend. I love her to pieces. But...she can't control her facial expressions when she feels strongly about something, or someone. By the looks of how her face was twisted and eyes bulging, I was afraid she was going to stab him. So I told him that I would cut his hair. I was professional and did exactly as he asked. He was expecting a bad cut just because he came in at the last minute. So I did my darnedest to make sure that it was spectacular. He complained the whole time. Then...when I had finished he asked me if there is anything he could have done different in this situation. Not being one to bite my tongue, I told him (still being extremely professional). He didn't like my answer. He threatened to have my job and that he would report me to the home office. (After leaving the previous employer, I would love for him to have my job. I had zero support from the upper management when I asked that something be done about this customer. I wanted him banned for life. I didn't care what had to happen, I didn't want anyone to ever have to deal with him again. But my superiors didn't feel that this situation warranted such actions.) I have NEVER EVER dealt with someone as hateful and full of ATT-I-TUDE in my life. I swear to this day, that if I ever run into him again, I will be as completely inappropriate to him as he was to me on that day. And that is not a lie. I will never forget him, and that is not a good thing. You never want to be remembered as the person with the inappropriate attitude.
Well, I guess I'm finished with my rant for today. Until next time...stay appropriate Murfreesboro!
